Men Are From Mars

MEN  &  WOMEN  / OR RAPAPORT

“Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus”
It sounds familiar probably because it’s the
name of the book that was written by Dr. John Gray:
“Once upon a time Martians and Venusians
had met, fell in love and had happy
relationships together because they respected
their differences, then they came to
Earth and amnesia set in: they forgot
they were from different planets.”

That’s right:  we’re mistakenly assumed
that if we look alike, we think alike,
and have the same codes of language.
Big mistake. We really need a translator.
As a marriage guidance counselor  I
find it incredibly true.

Whereas Martians’ motto was:
“Don’t fix it unless it’s broken”
Venusians’ motto was: “Small problems
become bigger problems, fix them as
soon as possible: the moment they pop up”.

That’s why women want to speak about
the problems and men take it as a huge
negative thing. Most men go to counselor
after they get the divorce papers.
When it’s broken…

Men’s main goal is power, women’s
main goal is intimacy.
Although women want to succeed at
work, they will probably perceive
themselves less successful if they
won’t have husbands, children etc.
While most man won’t find it enough
to be happily married.  Their ego
basically built on their career successes.
Apparently it reflects society’s
perception of successes of men and women.

Women speak in terms of procedure
and men – in terms of :
“The bottom line”.

In the last three to five decades,
women were house keepers, men were
the providers. Men went to work, and there
they met other men. They were all speaking
in the same language. The important thing
was the result -The bottom line: was it profitable,
worthwhile or not.
It didn’t matter what you felt meanwhile,
during the procedure.
The house keeping is a no ending job.
The moment you finish to cook one dish –
you have to prepare the next one.
Once you had finished to wash the laundry,
to clean the floor, to dust the furniture  you
can only bless the next to come – it
just never ends. No final result.

Women did the nursing – they took care
of the children – again – a procedure job:
once the baby rolls over you wonder when
he’ll begin to crawl, to walk, to run,
to read and write, to socialize.
Women met women speaking with each other
in the same codes of procedure language.
They understood each other. No need to
emphasize the bottom line.

Tired men returned from work,
met tiresome women at home.
They didn’t feel like talking.

Today, when women are having careers,
and get used to speak in terms of bottom line,
and more and more you can see men in
the playgrounds – where they can learn to
enjoy the “procedure language” while
they are brining up the children,
taking care of the house – There’s a hope –
that somewhere, sometime in the future –
men and women –would be able to
communicate much better.

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